Open Adoption Tips For Birth Parents

If you are pregnant and have decided that putting your child up for adoption is what's best, then you are probably moving towards some level of open adoption. This is an adoption in which you will continue to have some level of contact with your child after they are given to their adoptive parents. Open adoptions have become very common in recent years, and most feel that they are healthier for birth parents, the children, and even the adoptive parents than the closed adoptions that were once the norm. However, there are a few tips you will want to follow as a birth parent to help ensure the open adoption goes smoothly from the onset.

Choose adoptive parents who you feel comfortable around.

Your number one goal in choosing adoptive parents for your baby should be to select parents who you feel will raise your baby in a kind, loving, responsible way. But you should also consider how well you get along with the adoptive parents. You will have an easier time visiting your child and receiving updates on their life if you feel comfortable around the adoptive parents. They should be people you are able to talk to and who you feel are willing to talk openly with you.

Respect the adoptive parents' role.

Remember that when you give your child to their adoptive parents, you are giving those people the right and responsibility of raising your child. They will be the ones making the rules and making parenting decisions. There may be times, after the adoption, when you have a different opinion of what's best for the child or how things should be done — but as hard as it is, you have to remember it is not your role to parent.

Set up a pattern of contact.

It is usually easiest if you and the adoptive parents set up a pattern or schedule of contact from the beginning so that everyone knows what to expect. For instance, maybe you will have an in-person meeting with your child every three months on the first of the month. Or maybe you will get pictures in the mail twice a year and have a once-a-year visit on June 1st. It's up to you to decide on this schedule, but what's most important is that you do have a schedule.

For more tips and advice on having a successful open adoption and healthy relationship with your child's adoptive parents, reach out to a counselor or adoption center.

To learn more, reach out to an open adoption service.